Deschooling is the word that describes the transition from school to a life of educating ourselves. It is usually the parents who need a helping hand in trusting their own children. That is because we have all been told that children need to be forced to learn, that school is the only place it happens, and many more lies. Ned Vare and Luz Shosie, July/August 2008, HEM Interview

My children were born natural learners, constantly exploring, questioning with a curiosity that gave me sheer joy to be a part of. Trouble was, as they progressed from being toddlers and ventured toward compulsory attendance and school age, instead of being a joyous participant, I began to lose some of that joy as I began to pay more attention to societal educational standards. Eventually those standards and the drive to test children younger and younger led my family to the homeschool choice. Still, it took many years for me to deschool and I’d like to share some past articles and deschooling resources for anyone looking to reach that deschooled spot sooner rather than later. If you have any questions or need help.

HEM Deschooling Articles

Decompression – Frequently Asked Questions by Cafi Cohen

Go light on the teacher aspect of home education. Don’t be the nightmare homeschooling parent, the one who insists on researching the country of origin of every piece of produce in the grocery store. Yes, it can make you – the parent – feel good to point out the educational aspects of everyday life. Your teenagers will probably find such antics more boring than the school they just left behind.

Instead consider spending time on activities both you and your kids enjoy. You have very few years remaining to share the same household. Learning occurs as a by-product of fun events – like travel and playing games and cooking together and outdoor sports. Enjoy – and don’t sweat the small stuff.

Interview with Luz Shosie and Ned Vare by Mary Nix

Whatever you do, be flexible. Kids’ needs and desires change. Be ready to let go of your ideas and go with theirs. They will always love you for the trust you give them.

Live with your children as though school did not exist. If your kids have been in school, take time off before starting any homeschooling routine. Children may appear to be “doing nothing,” but they are actually healing or detoxing. Parents may need an activity during this process. Find something you enjoy doing, learn something new. Your kids need to see that you have a life. You will probably be surprised at how much they are doing and learning. Do not hover.

I Am An Unschooled Adult by Susanna Wesley

Knowing what I know now, it is clear that those years were a time when I was “de-schooling.” I was growing up. I was figuring out that I had always lived from the outside-in instead of the inside-out. I had never heard of the disadvantages, much less the detriments, of formal schooling, so I had no logical explanation for why I was feeling completely lost in a great big world which was supposed to be full of opportunities. I felt stuck in time, as if I had no past and no future.

Dealing With Doubts by Janet Keip

When we first began homeschooling six years ago, I felt a raw defensiveness when someone challenged or questioned my choice to homeschool. Now I feel that same surge of defensiveness when someone questions unschooling. In the beginning, my conviction of the rightness of homeschooling for us and our daughter was firm. However, homeschooling was still too new and too fresh for me to easily articulate our philosophy.

Gaining Confidence In Our Homeschooling by Larry and Susan Kaseman

Homeschooling works because children learn well with the help and guidance of parents who know them well and care deeply about them. They can learn at their own pace, when they are ready and eager, so learning is easier. They can spend extra time on things that especially interest them, which motivates them. They often discover interests that lead to their life’s work. They do not have to deal with disruptive schedules that interrupt their learning, peer pressure, humiliation or failing grades if they make a mistake or haven’t learned something yet, teachers who do not understand or appreciate their strengths, a curriculum that does not suit their needs, approaches to learning that do not work for them, and other inevitable parts of standardized schools run by the government and designed to try to educate many children at once, regardless of their individual differences.

Dear New Homeschooler by Mary McCarthy

Notice how many ordinary people have written books about their successful homeschooling program. They’re just like you, having once stood in those same shaky shoes. that’s what you should be getting out of all those books: That ordinary parents, just like you, can achieve success in homeschooling. Each one found little tricks and experiences that helped them, and may help you too. But the basic message is that they all succeeded.

From Homeschooled to Homeschooling by Dawn Colclasure

If anything, the experience of being homeschooled gives these parents a source to turn to in times of distress–their parents. “I know from watching my mom and others that all homeschoolers go through the same doubts and if they just persevere, they figure out a comfortable and effective way of doing it for their family,” Humphries says. She adds, “That gives me courage on those doubting days.”

Revelations of a Homeschooling Mom by Carol Wanagel

It seemed like I wasn’t teaching them anything anymore, and yet they were learning at a furious pace. It became very clear that every time I started up with my assignments and lectures I was interfering with their education. Whatever I told them they had to learn, they slowly and painfully memorized, then quickly forgot. Whatever they wanted to learn, they learned instantly and for life.

On Self-Doubt - Lenita Harsch

Albert Einstein, The greatest minds of our century, felt held back in school and was considered a poor student. (I wonder if his teachers ever doubted their abilities when trying to teach him?) He later spoke of the need for freedom in education – the freedom to be curious and inquisitive, and to explore independently. His own education blossomed only after he took charge of K himself. No longer held back, his curiosity led him to new and wonderful discoveries about the universe.

Peaceful Unschooling – Charlotte C. Monte

Yes, I definitely have an opinion that unschooling, or child-led learning, or whatever similar term parents choose, is best for children. And I’m sure that for every person you ask, you’ll get a different definition of what unschooling means, and it may look vastly different from house to house, and even child to child. What I really think unschooling boils down to, in whatever form, is this: A peace, a harmony and a love of learning that does not get squelched over time.

Other Deschooling Resources

Deschooling for Parents by Sandra Dodd

Deschooling Society – Ivan Illach

Many new homeschool parents often ask when their child  will learn to write?   Just like any other skill, there is no set time table and the answer is largely dependent upon each child.   In the same way that they learn to read, walk and talk, they will write when they are ready.

The following articles and resources may help you to find a method or tools that will best meet your child’s learning to write needs

Learning to Write Without School – Aj DeBee

Until a few weeks ago, I had never attended school. My entire education, and my entire development as a reader, writer and thinker, was solely dependent on the teachings of my ex-English teacher mother, my eccentric father, and myself.

Portfolio Assessment – Ana McDonald,

For each book, Dottie can fill out a form describing the book and what parts she likes best and least. She can make a story map, draw her own illustrations for text-heavy books, or do any of the workbook-type activities that I can discover or devise. If she wants, she can even write her own books, borrowing characters, plots, or themes from the books she reads

Homeschooling From Abroad – Leslie Clary

I discovered when I backed off and loosened up, Zak began taking more responsibility for his education. He likes Chinese. Every evening he practices writing characters. As a result his handwriting has improved.

Unschooling - Sandra Dodd

Lyle writes well and frequently about his unschooling. He could choose to write nothing, or he could separate himself from his family to become a professional writer and write every day for many hours. Lyle writes, as do many other unschoolers, for real purposes. He shares what he has discovered and experienced for the benefit of others who want their families’ lives to move toward unschooling. His writing is real, because it affects the thoughts and actions of others.

Learning Logs – Ivy Rutledge

A learning log can be a conversation as well as a private place for a child–it is up to you and your child to decide what you need. You can record the thoughts of young children for them, and you can also write your own thoughts in a dialogue form with your child. Writing letters back and forth in a notebook can be an effective way to communicate and share ideas.

Getting It Down -Ways to Encourage Reluctant Writer -Sue Smith Heavenrich

The biggest obstacle to writing isn’t the inability to write. It’s our attitude. If we can believe that our children can write, if they choose to, then we can look for ways to help them overcome their stumbling blocks. Sometimes it’s fear. Sometimes it’s motor skills. Sometimes we just need to play with words.

The Ongoing Debate in Reading Instruction: Finding a Balance – Mark B. Thogmartin

Several years ago, I completed a research project where I examined the reasons that Christian educators gave for their apparent, almost exclusive use of intensive phonics approaches to teaching beginning reading (Thogmartin, 1994). In addition to an exhaustive literature review about my question, I interviewed a number of Christian educators, homeschooling parents, college professors, and curriculum providers to find out their beliefs about reading instruction. I took for granted their opinions that their chosen method worked; rather, I wanted to find out the philosophical/theoretical reasons why they believed what they did.

Ready Reference – Kim O’Hara

I don’t think a day goes by but someone comes up with a question that sends us to the Internet for an answer. (Sometimes we stew about it for a while and then suddenly remember: “We could check the computer!”) We look up weather forecasts, research vacation spots, get great deals on plane fares, and reserve hotel rooms (at discounted prices). We answer sticky grammar questions, get background (and illustrations) for essays, and research settings when we write fiction.

Previous Closer Look: Writing

When we purchased our first computer, they discovered other lands and historical figures via games like Marioa[euro](TM)s Missing.

Of course that was just the beginning of a whole new world of gaming that they still enjoy a great deal, but we also enjoy our good old fashioned card, board or word games that allow us to relax and spend time with friends and family in todaya[euro](TM)s fast-paced world.

Here are some game resources and articles to explore.

Articles

Revelations of a Homeschooling Mom – Carol Wanagel

REVELATION #6: The pursuit of any one interest will result in a complete education.

A major portion of my kids’ education began with an interest in video games. Ten years ago, for entertainment only, we got an Atari computer and PacMan game cartridge. The system incidentally came with an operating manual and a book on programming. I didn’t know how to set the thing up but the kids figured it out in short order. Before long I heard them whispering things to each other like, “Wouldn’t it be neat to break into this program and give ourselves more power?” Soon they were looking into other computer systems and more challenging games.

Getting It Down – Ways to Encourage Reluctant Writer – Sue Smith Heavenrich

If only writing were a dice game… That’s it! I thought. A game of chance.

When we gathered, I had three sheets of paper. At the top of one I wrote “The Setting”. I numbered down six lines, and filled in six different settings: a forest, a school, a pirate ship, a castle, the ocean, and a cave. Another paper was titled, “Your Character”. On this sheet I listed: an enchanted frog, a cowardly dragon, a giant, a clever spider, a boy, an inventor. On a third paper I wrote “The Problem” and listed six topics: hunting for lost treasure, stopping aliens from invading the earth, losing a favorite object, getting stuck in quicksand, overcoming magic, and getting lost in a storm.

“We’re going to roll stories by chance,” I explained. “The cast of your die will determine who your character is, as well as the setting and problem. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to use our wits to solve the problem…. and do it by writing.”

MATH… and Other Tales of Horror – Leslie Wilson

On and off over the years we’ve resurrected the Wonder Numbers Game, each time playing a different variation of our own. We especially enjoy imagining the board is the land of Mathematica, where interesting things can happen in different locations: side activities tied to certain squares, prime number “cities” where you draw a word problem card worth bonus points or a prize. We sometimes use felt numbers or bear counters or Cuisenaire Rods to collect as prizes. They are added up at the end of the game, or certain ones multiplied, subtracted, divided to find out the winner. Infinite variations are possible.

A Gift of Time – Sue Smith-Heavenrich

By homeschooling, you give them the gift of time to discover ideas. If you let children play around with blocks and puzzles and balances, they will discover math. I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t refer to LEGO® or DUPLO® blocks by counting the knobs on top. My children learned to call blocks by shape names so they could discuss castle architecture. They used counting frames to keep score in card games, and loved weighing things on the kitchen scale. When they discovered what rulers and tape measures were for, they went around the house measuring. How long is a shoe? How big are daddy’s ears?

How’s School Going? – Mary Kenyon

Rainy days and cold winter house bound days ensured time for math worksheets, science videos, phonics lessons, and educational games. As Beth advanced in school she chose to use textbooks for more of her learning. Her writing flourished as she wrote and edited a bimonthly newsletter for girls her age.

Resources

• ELLIOTT AVEDON MUSEUM & ARCHIVE OF GAMES

• Interactive Timeline of Gaming from PBS

• Online Guide to Traditional Games

When I first became a mother, I started reading child development books to help me better understand this new little person who had entered my world. Similarly, when we started homeschooling, I began to explore how children learn and discovered the many different educational methods that are out there. I have to confess I was pretty obsessed with the whole process and like many new homeschool parents, I wanted to make sure that I was doing it “right” and was providing all the proper resources that my children needed. As I read about the different learning styles, I began to see that no matter what style best matched my child, children learn best in a calm and nurturing environment. At that point I knew I needed to relax and make sure that whatever learning method we might use would serve my child and that we would not become a servant to any particular method.

Understanding their development, knowing what made them tick and how they enjoyed pursuing their passions helped us determine what method(s) of learning would best work for our children. We wanted them to retain their self-directed passion for learning and we found that an interest based, or child led method felt like a good fit. Since we were not tied to any method we could switch gears anytime to best meet our child’s needs.

The articles and resources below provide a wealth of information and support for understanding Learning Methods and Styles.

Articles

Learning Logs - Ivy Rutledge

By writing down the things that do and don’t work for her, she is becoming aware of her best methods, helps, strengths and weaknesses. Metacognition, this is called in professional teaching circles, but it’s not rocket science and doesn’t need a fancy name; we’re just teaching her to know what she likes and where she would like to go with it.

Learning together has been a wonderful adventure for us, and we have been rewarded with the wonder of watching our children’s exploration and discovery turn into ideas that unfold in unpredictable and special ways.

Learning to Love Math by Alison Moore Smith

There are methods of teaching mathematics which encourage a love and interest in math, and those which tend to kill the joy. If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: Please avoid the drill-to-kill, memorize-to-mummify, repetition-without-reason textbooks!
What can you do to bring out a love of math in your kids?

It’s OK to count on your fingers1or pebbles or candies or pennies or rods or sticks or blocks even for advanced students. Use hands-on stuff and always have a manipulative to fall back on. Mess with real stuff first; experiment, discover. The algorithm comes last!

Leaving Public Education by Ellen C. Bicheler

One of my biggest challenges came from the scrutiny we received from the general public and in particular the neighbors about our methods of homeschooling. When the neighbors first asked Lindsay what she was doing for homeschooling, she would say, “Nothing.” She would say this because we were no longer studying out of textbooks. We were going to the pond to study pond life. We would supplement this with talks from naturalists and books from the library. Lindsay was no longer studying a prescribed curriculum and I guess nothing resembled her classroom from the previous year.

The Many Faces of Home Education - Tamara Orr

Perhaps homeschooling’s most precious advantage is that it is completely malleable; it can be shaped to whatever you need it to be. Instead of forcing your child to fit into public education, you have the chance to mold education around your child. While this is empowering, it can also be frightening. Where do you start? Whose theories are right? The decision to homeschool demands that you do some real research. First, you have to find out what your options are and then slowly, you can select the one that you think will fit you and your partner’s personality/philosophy of education, your children’s personalities and your lifestyle choices.

A Visit with Mary Hood – Janine Calsbeek

Chat with Mary Hood about learning centers, and you’ll get a short course on unschooling.

Pull the books and educational “stuff” out of the closet, she says. Put them where kids can see them. Keep things somewhat orderly, clean, and well-lit. React to your child’s initiative. If you really want a kid to read a certain book, don’t assign it. Just throw it on the couch.

This is Mary Hood, author of The Relaxed Home School, touted by some as “the Christian John Holt.” She is somewhat of an unusual item, you must admit. Her theology leans towards the conservative end, yet her educational style is, in a word, loose.

There’s no conflict in her mind. She sees how her children learn, and knows they learn best when they’re motivated. Her goals for her family include supporting everyone’s natural love of learning, not beating facts into their heads.

A Birthday a Day by Rebecca Rupp

Our kids’ learning styles seem to mesh better with what are popularly called “unit studies:” assorted projects, activities, and readings centered around a topic of kid-chosen interest. Here again, we’ve always invented our own, accumulating craft and science kits, and turning out piles of homemade activity books on such subjects as the Civil War, whales, stars, frogs, the heart, the eye, trees, bees, and map-making. Many of our past unit study topics were generated from the calendar, centering around the birthdays of famous persons, historical anniversaries, and unusual holidays. In past years, for example, we’ve celebrated – in detail – the birthdays of George Washington Carver, Benjamin Franklin, Louis Braille, Amelia Earhart, Thomas Jefferson, Daniel Boone, P.T. Barnum, Frank Lloyd Wright, Hans Christian Anderson, Tycho Brahe, Galileo, Susan B. Anthony, and Helen Keller; commemorated the launching the Sputnik, the Wright Brothers’ flight at Kitty Hawk, the opening of the Erie Canal, the completion of the transcontinental railroad, Boys’ Day in Japan, the opening of Tutankhamen’s tomb, the discovery of gold at Sutter’s Mill, and – month by month – the entry of all fifty states into the Union.

An Interview With Dr. Thomas Armstrong by Janie Bowman

Question: For parents teaching more than one child, any tips on how to juggle different ages and learning styles in the same family?

Answer: I think the more kids you have the more you should rely on peer tutoring, cross-age tutoring and having kids teach each other. You know, going back to the old one-room schoolhouse where kids of different ages typically did a lot of teaching of each other certainly takes a lot of the strain away from the parent of having to meet everybody’s needs.

Resources

• How Children Learn by John Holt
• Considering Methods & Styles of Homeschooling by Lillian Jones
• Determine Your Children’s Learning Styles from A-Z Homescooling
• Learning Styles from Brightkids@home
• Learning Styles & Homeschooling Styles from Homeschoolchristian.com
• Myth #4 “You Need Teacher Training, Dearie” -Linda Dobson
  (An excerpt from the book The First Year of Homescholing Your Child)
• Nurturing Children’s Natural Love of Learning by Jan Hunt, M.Sc.
• Plan from Ann Lahrson-Fisher
• What’s Your Educational Philosophy? from Life Without School

Instead consider spending time on activities both you and your kids enjoy. You have very few years remaining to share the same household. Learning occurs as a by-product of fun events – like travel and playing games and cooking together and outdoor sports. Enjoy – and don’t sweat the small stuff.”

- Cafi Cohen, homeschooling mother and author

Homeschooling does allow us time to travel, play games, learn and enjoy living together as a family. Unfortunately, too often fear sometimes grips our hearts as our children get closer to the teen years. Little doubts begin to crop up and we wonder if they have done enough academically, will they be ready for college? Will they be able to get a job?

As many homeschool parents who are on the other side of the teen years know, they answer is that they can and will do whatever they set out to do. Just as we were there to enjoy watching them learn to walk, talk, read and write, they enter this time in their lives in their own unique way and we are along for the ride to love, nurture and help them find resources when and where we can. We hope these articles and resources will help you support the Homeschooling Older Kids in your life!

Articles on Older Kids

The Door is Open by Earl Gary Stevens “As children grow into their teens, some families worry that continuing with home education might be closing the door to college. They wonder if independent learning is more suitable for little kids than for teenagers and perhaps not very practical as a prelude to college admission. While college may not be the best choice for every person, none of us wants to eliminate the option for our children.

There exists a myth that the only way for a young person to be accepted into college is through building a record for compliant behavior in a secondary educational institution. This myth was exposed for many of us when David and Micki Colfax wrote about their boys being accepted into Harvard on the strength of their own efforts and on the lives that they had put together for themselves, as described in Homeschooling for Excellence.”

The Challenge of Older Children by Eileen Yoder “Parents of older home educated children sometimes find themselves dealing with the question of school for their older kids. I wrote this piece hoping to provide some food for thought for these parents who have kept their children out of compulsory school programs, but, faced with the challenges of older children, are wondering if they should enroll their kids in school now. Perhaps they don’t feel equipped to handle the emerging needs of their older kids. Perhaps their kids, needing to work and play with others to hone their relationship skills and explore the world, may be wondering if school would be a good thing for themselves. It is a question that comes up for a lot of families. It is hard to swim against the current of our culture, even if you are pretty sure that it is the right direction for you.

I am deeply committed to helping families keep children out of compulsory schools. I feel clear that there is far more damage than good done in that disrespectful environment, and I speak from that bias.” -E.Y.

Self-Directed Learning by Cafi Cohen “Looking at journal entries like this, I realize that after several years of homeschooling (we began when the kids were in grades 6 and 7 and continued through high school), my teenagers had finally “made it”. They had achieved my primary goal in homeschooling: they had become independent, self-directed learners.

What does that mean? In our case, it meant that both Jeffrey and Tamara planned their schedules and made good use of time. Their activities reflected goals and priorities – both theirs and the family’s. Given good instructional materials, they could teach themselves. Most importantly, they had learned to locate their own resources (people, materials, classes, interest groups) in the larger community.”

Homeschooling and Teens Who Dislike School by Larry and Susan Kaseman “Homeschooling has the potential to contribute significantly to the lives of teens who dislike school and even change their lives, especially when their parents and others recognize their strengths and the legitimacy of the their reasons for disliking school. Developing an alternative for teens is a lot of work but pays rich rewards to teens and parents. Homeschoolers who support families in this situation also help prevent homeschooling from being seen as an escape for teens who dislike school.”

Older Kids – Decompression - Frequently Asked Questions by Cafi Cohen “He just won’t do anything!” say the parents of teenagers who have just left school. Prior to beginning homeschooling, these parents have high hopes. They envision their older kids industriously attacking thoughtfully-selected curriculum, running a business, publishing a book, graduating early, and winning big scholarship money.

Some of those things may happen, but – in the first days and weeks and months of homeschooling – reality bites. Most new homeschooling families with teens deal with an adjustment period I call decompression.”

Older Kids Do-It-Yourself Group Activities for Teenagers by Cafi Cohen “Okay, you are sold. You are ready to organize or at least supervise a teen activity. But your teenager is reluctant. How to convince him and others to participate? Here are some winning strategies:

• Avoid the terms “support group” or even “homeschool group.” Simply begin an investment club or musical group or a newsletter.
• Get ideas from your teenagers. One support leader said that she never initiates an activity unless The teenagers suggests it.
  
• Encourage one or more teens organize and lead, if possible.
• Restrict the activities to older kids and adults. Find alternates for younger children.
• Always include food. “Books and Brownies” sounds like more fun than “Book Discussion Group.”

Fly-Fishing to College; The Value of Uniqueness vs. Orthodoxy by Alison McKee “The college application process need not be as traumatic as it is often made out to be. I was gently reminded of this fact when Christian, our son, got yet another note from Kalamazoo College. This one asked for “written certification” of his high school graduation. The note alarmed Christian, and when he brought it to me, I must admit that I too felt panic set in. Was this going to be the loop-hole we had not anticipated, the loophole which would cause the college to withdraw its scholarship money and leave Christian out in the cold? I’d heard often enough of homeschoolers dickering with college admissions officers about discriminatory or seemingly unfair admissions policies and couldn’t help but wonder if, after having avoided such pitfalls, we were finally going to face the raging bull. At this point in the game I knew I was entirely unwilling to allow administrative details to cut Christian’s dreams short. We’d come too far.”

Resources

Lillian Jones’s Best Homeschool.org’s Teen Years, Homeschooling High School, College & Career Information
Articles and Links to information about high school years, colleges, getting into college, financial aid, CHSPE, GED, KLEP, and preparation for tests – as well as career information and opportunities other than college.

Homeschool Teens from the Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers
Offers articles and resources for the teen years

Online Groups

AHA High School-College
Ask questions about homeschooling through high school and college – or share your experiences and resources with others who may be seeking help.

Apricot Pie – Giving older homeschoolers and homeschool graduates a voice

Homeschooling High School
A discussion list for parents homeschooling high school students, 9th-12th grade. Parents of 8th graders are welcome so they can start planning for high school. Only topics related to home schooling high school are allowed on this list.

Vegesource Homeschool High School Board

Click this link to explore more resources for Homeschooling Older Kids.