Love It Forward: Extending Unschool Philosophy, by Dayna Martin

As I prepared for traveling to speak overseas last year, I am remembering a flight that my family took home from England where I was the keynote speaker at the first ever unschooling conference in London.

On the flight, there was a mother traveling alone with two kids who were sitting next to us. Being such a big family, we took up almost a whole row of seats on the plane. As we took off, I could see the mother getting impatient with her kids. She had a two year old and a child around six. The two year old was standing on the seat looking at the people behind us. The mother was so frustrated, and I saw her squeezing her daughter’s leg really hard. She talked in a really low, angry voice, scolding her. My heart hurt seeing this, and my husband Joe and I began talking about how cruel this mother was being to her kids.

As I judged this mother, I began feeling bad, focusing such negativity toward her. I had a moment of realization that I could extend the unschooling philosophy of respect and kindness to her and see what happens. I could choose to focus on this mother’s needs, which underlied her behavior, and see how I could help her and her kids. I could maybe make a difference and be guided by love and respect instead of judgment and feeling better-than. This was a pivotal moment in my life as a radical unschooling parent and advocate.


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One Response to Love It Forward: Extending Unschool Philosophy, by Dayna Martin

  1. T Andrews on February 5, 2013 at 9:38 am

    We have to be careful how we judge people. None of us are perfect, especially when it comes to parenting. If you have more than two children, you’ve just had a few extra years of practice than this mother. If we look at others with a charitable heart, then we can show forth more compassion and offer a lending hand rather than a condescending eye.