As I prepared for traveling to speak overseas last year, I am remembering a flight that my family took home from England where I was the keynote speaker at the first ever unschooling conference in London.
On the flight, there was a mother traveling alone with two kids who were sitting next to us. Being such a big family, we took up almost a whole row of seats on the plane. As we took off, I could see the mother getting impatient with her kids. She had a two year old and a child around six. The two year old was standing on the seat looking at the people behind us. The mother was so frustrated, and I saw her squeezing her daughter’s leg really hard. She talked in a really low, angry voice, scolding her. My heart hurt seeing this, and my husband Joe and I began talking about how cruel this mother was being to her kids.
As I judged this mother, I began feeling bad, focusing such negativity toward her. I had a moment of realization that I could extend the unschooling philosophy of respect and kindness to her and see what happens. I could choose to focus on this mother’s needs, which underlied her behavior, and see how I could help her and her kids. I could maybe make a difference and be guided by love and respect instead of judgment and feeling better-than. This was a pivotal moment in my life as a radical unschooling parent and advocate.
Read Dayna’s full story in our March-April issue. Subscribe.
We have to be careful how we judge people. None of us are perfect, especially when it comes to parenting. If you have more than two children, you’ve just had a few extra years of practice than this mother. If we look at others with a charitable heart, then we can show forth more compassion and offer a lending hand rather than a condescending eye.