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Homeschool Information Library
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Two Perspectives
- Elizabeth Ryan
I was talking to a mom at Karate class and mentioned that our three
boys were homeschooled. She sighed and said it was hard for her to put
up with her son for half a day, that raising a handicapped child was like
raising six kids. I was watching her son practice his karate kicks and
he seemed normal to me. Thinking she must have another child I inquired
about the nature of her child's handicap, and she told me he had ADD. I
had never considered ADD a handicap and I tried not to act surprised. I
kept the conversation rolling on homeschooling, giving examples of my oldest
son, hoping to give a little hope to this mom whose son, only five, had
already been told that he was handicapped.
When my now twelve year old son Ruben was around five, my mother gave
me a book to read; she was sure that it was describing Ruben. It was a
book on ADD. I took it home, glanced at it a bit, gave it back to
my mom and thanked her for her concern.
My mom was a retired math teacher. Our decision to homeschool was foreign
to her, especially with her thoughts that Ruben had ADD based on what she
had read in that book and how she perceived her grandson. Ruben was a late
talker, late pottytrained, late reader. When he finally got the hang of
talking he was very articulate and quickly picked up an amazing vocabulary.
Ruben was past ten when he finally learned to read. Over the years
we'd try to do reading lessons, but again he wasn't interested so we would
back off. One day my husband Daniel sat down with Ruben and Dr. Suess and
something in Ruben's mind just "clicked" and he was off and reading. Now
it's hard to get him to do much else a lot of the time. He still doesn't
like reading out loud, but when I'm feeling a little insecure I'll have
him read to me. I'm always amazed at how wonderfully he reads after only
two years. Letting your children advance in their own time and at their
own pace is hard but very rewarding.
I have no doubt that had Ruben gone to school he would have been labeled
and perhaps put on drugs. When bored he is unable to concentrate for long,
he is very easily distracted, he can't sit still, he interrupts and often
has inappropriate comments. When tired he cries easily, picks fights with
his brothers and can say mean comments, but when he is challenged and interested
nThese behaviors are evident.
Ruben is of course not finished in his development, and he has some
areas that need some work. I'm sure more things will pop up as the years
go by, and I'm sure that he will take care of them in his own good time.
I tried to get some of these points across to that mom at Karate class
that day. I hope that someday down the road she might rethink her son's
"handicap."
© 1998, Elizabeth Ryan
Mark and Mary Kay Hollinger
Our daughter, at age 7 1/2, while still in school, was tested for ADHD
at the recommendation of her teacher, with a resulting positive diagnosis.
She'd had trouble completing work since kindergarten, and at this time,
in the middle of second grade, we had a "problem student"on our hands.
We knew she was very intelligent and we could not figure out why she wouldn't
just do the easy work and get on to the "good stuff."She just refused!
This, of course, led to much pushing, pleading, arguing, yelling, punishing,
and general misery.
We read everything we could find on ADHD and agreed, "Yes, this sounds
exactly like her."We started her on Ritalin and saw very minor improvements.
We were not 100% comfortable with our daughter being dependent on a pill
to do her work so we kept doing research. A friend suggested we take her
out of school "for a while"to decrease her stress while at the same time
another friend asked if we had had her IQ tested.
Our psychologist tested and she was found to be in the gifted range.
It was suggested that we ignore the ADHD, concentrate on the giftedness
and see what happens. We put the ADHD books away and searched for everything
about gifted kids and, voila! The same characteristics! Had no one noticed
this before?
Many people we knew with ADD kids said, "My child has ADD, but
he's so incredibly bright!"Hmm... Coincidence? How many highly intelligent
kids are we drugging so they will fit into the box we've decided they should
fit?
Our daughter has been off Ritalin, out of school and hooked on life
for 1 1/2 years now. What a difference! Her sports class teacher calls
her "Smiley"which is great because no one would have called her anything
that positive when she was in school. It turns out she wants to learn so
much that school made her angry. They were not learning what she was interested
in. Also, from what we know about ADD-type children, they need stimulation
to be able to concentrate. (Hence, the Ritalin.) Instead of chemical stimulation,
she now has intellectual stimulation. She reads everything she can get,
and has an insatiable curiosity.
We prayed so much for answers to our problem, and have been rewarded
beyond imagining. Now all 3 of our children are homeschooled and the benefits
are showing: close sibling relationships, strong sense of ethics, revitalization
of Mom and Dad's learning, (Mom is learning Latin!), and time.
Our daughter said of school, "I felt like an animal locked in a cage
and no one would let me out!"We let her out and don't regret it.
© 1998 Mark and Mary Kay Hollinger
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