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July-August
2009 Selected Content
Questions and Answers
- Laura Weldon
Maintaining Your Coolness and Homeschooling Dad Angst
Maintaining Your Coolness
"I'm begging for some advice from homeschool teens. How do you answer
interrogations about why you don't want to go to public school? And what answer
do you give that gets them off your back while still maintaining your
"coolness?" -unsigned
High school defines the world for kids my age. When someone asks me how I can
stand to miss what's going on at school I have to respond sarcastically. I say
something like, 'Yeah, you're right. I sleep in late, get my requirements done
in a few hours, then do what I want. It sucks. School is so much better."
-unsigned
Where I live there's only one place to hang out and that's the mall. All the
kids who go to school know each other. They used to look at me like I was from
out of town. But that was before I got a job at the mall that everyone else
wanted. I mostly got it because I can do my schoolwork whenever I want to. I
don't have to do it during 'normal' school hours. Now that everyone knows me
they don't think homeschooling is geeky at all. Mostly they are kind of jealous
of my freedom. -Anika 17
I actually had a great circle of friends as a homeschooler. We were all
relatively normal. I think that's what people are asking, they want to confirm
that you're normal. They're actually asking if you're a functional human being.
Once they figure out that you are they get off your back. -L. McIntosh, 20
Usually after you somehow either avoid the question or answer in a clever
manner, you end up overhearing those same people bitching about horrible
teachers or trouble at school or something else about how much they hate it.
That's when you can bring it back up, saying 'exactly my point.' -Cyrus, 17
My two daughters have gotten a lot of questions from their peers about
homeschooling. Things like, 'so how do you know when it's time to have lunch?'
and 'do you have bells to tell you when to change subjects?' My girls don't mind
at all explaining that the way we homeschool has very little to do with sitting
at desks doing assignments. I think they actually enjoy recounting their latest
projects to prove the point. The teens who minutes ago were feeling sorry for
them or even superior to them start wishing that they were the ones getting to
intern with the museum's paleontologist, go skiing on weekdays and take film
courses at the university. -Becky Mouhad, New York
Homeschooling Dad Angst
By default it looks like I am going to be the one homeschooling. My wife and
I planned to teach our 4-year-old at home but now that I'm out of work and she
has found a job it's fallen in my lap. Not only am I nervous about doing a good
job for my son's sake, I have to admit that I'm embarrassed. Are there other men
who homeschool out there? - Mike
My husband and I are equally responsible for homeschooling our daughter because
we have our own a business. I'm the one who helps her stay on track with her
assignments. He does more of the 'out of the house' homeschooling. That means he
takes her to choral group and dulcimer lessons plus whatever Montgomery County
Homeschoolers are doing that week. Since he's pretty social he likes meeting up
with the other parents. He knows one other man involved with the homeschool
group, an older man who is raising and homeschooling his twin grandchildren.
Sometimes they meet up at the park while the kids play.
We think that it's been really beneficial for our daughter to have her father so
involved in her education. His presence shows how important she is to him. -
Carla Dawes
Even if you feel nervous and embarrassed, don't let on to your son. Kids that
age think everything has something to do with them. Your son might mistake your
discomfort as something wrong with him. Just relax and take homeschooling
slowly. You probably don't remember much of anything educational from being that
age. He won't either. He will remember a good relationship with you and lots of
fun, even if some of that fun helps him learn. - Derrin's Mom
I'll be sharing your situation. We're moving since my wife is taking over a
position in her family's company. It's secure and well paid. I don't share your
embarrassment. I was the sole wage earner for most of our marriage and footed
the bill for her graduate degree. Frankly I used to dread going to work,
especially the last couple of years with the way the economy was going. I am
looking forward to full time parenthood. I have one more month before I resign
and we leave. The kids and I have been making a list of all the things we're
excited to do together once we have more time together. Here are a few things on
it:
build a tree house
make sling shots (yes, to shoot at targets)
learn about whales
film our own sci-fi movie
teach ourselves to cook
learn rock climbing
take sailing lessons
study astronomy
learn to speak Spanish
build a go-cart make mom a quilt for Christmas
Your situation is a great opportunity! Make the best of it. - Eric, New Jersey
Been doing it for almost six years now. I retired from the Coast Guard and took
on schooling at home as my next assignment. My advice is to ask a lot of
questions from parents who have been doing it awhile. I joined a few online
forums on Yahoo Groups like Secular Homeschoolers and California Homeschoolers.
It took me some time to join groups that met around here but I'm glad I did. I
admit I am the only father taking his kids to daytime events but it's fine with
me. - D.W., California
I was laid off 11 months ago and took on the task of home education along with
re-training courses while my wife went back to work. It was hard for all of us
to adjust at first. I made sure the girls got to their usual programs and at
first some people said things like, 'I could never do what you're doing' or
'Where's their mother today?' It's really no big deal. Lots of times people are
looking to start a conversation, not a problem. When my training courses are
over we're trying to figure out how to homeschool and have both parents work.
Now that's something that's going to be challenging. - Will, Iowa
Plenty of fathers homeschool their children, and one of my favorite resources is
a collection of articles and columns about homeschooling dads, all free to read
online as part of HEM's Closer Look series. The main page linking all the pieces
is at:
homeedmag.com/closerlook/307/homeschooling-dads-2/
Homeschooling dad and author David Albert, who writes a regular column for HEM,
is interviewed. Homeschooling dad Perry Venson discusses facing the fears common
to homeschooling fathers, and there are great articles about dads and
homeschooling, such as retired teacher Jim Dunn's "When Dad Homeschools: From
Breadwinning to Bread Baking": "Leaving my own work as a breadwinner in the
great world has challenged me on a number of levels. I have been forced to
confront my old behavior and habitual thinking."
A great quote from Isabel Shaw's "And What Does Your Husband Do": "Ray welcomed
the opportunity to be with our two girls, then twelve and seven years old. But
the eyebrows went up immediately. "You're going to stay home with the kids?"
several friends asked him incredulously. One guy laughed out loud. 'You'll never
do it - you'll be looking for a job next week!' Were we crazy? Can a dad leave
his career and jump into the homeschool arena?"
These good articles will give you plenty to think about, along with plenty of
encouragement - and even some 'homeschooling dads' resources to check out. -
HEF, Washington
© 2009, Laura Weldon
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