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Home Education Magazine
November-December 1998 - Articles
Welcome to the Sisterhood! - Amy Hollingsworth
When I was a freshman in college, I wrote a sociology paper on what it was like to be a displaced Midwesterner going through sorority rush in the South. I was thrust into a subculture that was as foreign to me as Pygmy mating rituals. But thinking I would get a sociology paper out of the experience, I went undercover in a madras skirt, espadrille shoes and an Add-a-Bead necklace. I slunk through the sorority houses, learning the language, trying to fathom the rituals. In the end, it proved a valuable experience. I eventually settled into life in the South and when I graduated, I migrated north (all the way to Virginia) and found myself a nice southern gentleman with whom to spend the rest of my life. So the whole experiment didn't end too badly after all.
Now I stand at the threshold of another alien subculture-the sorority of homeschool moms. Although I'm pretty sure there's no secret handshake, there is much for me to learn. You see, I fell into homeschooling overnight, making the decision just days before my son's first tuition payment was due. Now with one year under my belt, I've decided to research the homeschooling phenomenon with all the dedication of a college freshman dissecting sorority rush. And I have found some surprising similarities.
1. There's a new language to be learned. I learned a lot going through sorority rush, not only about the Greek system, but also about the South itself. I learned what it meant to "pitch a fit" and I started saying "I swanee" whenever I was incredulous. The homeschool subculture has some interesting lingo of its own. For example, is it "home schooling," "home-schooling" or "homeschooling"? Can an "unschooler" also be a "deschooler"? Who exactly is Charlotte Mason and what in the world is a Beechick? It can be awfully confusing. Sometimes you just get letters. Are you a member of NHA? Are you using LLATL? Did you subscribe to HEM yet? Are you a SAHM? How am I supposed to KNOW?!
It's a daunting task and I'm sure some cutting-edge marketeer will come up with a lexicon. In the meantime, do what I do (it works equally well for sorority rush or homeschool conferences): Nod your head knowingly and smile. Everyone will think you know what's going on and pretty soon you will.
2. There are subgroups within the whole. I noticed that sorority sisters often broke off into subgroups. There were the serious scholars, the serious athletes, and the serious partyers. Homeschooling has subgroups as well. There are the traditional homeschoolers. There are the unschoolers. There are the deschoolers. There are even the school-at-homers. There's the pajama crowd and then there's the desks/flag/globe/chalkboard crowd. Some use canned curricula; others are "eclectic." There's the mother-cooking-dinner-in-the- background approach. Subgroups can form around educational philosophies, geographic regions, or shared curricula. But as in the sorority system, these subgroups never seem to lose sight of the fact that they are a part of something greater, the bigger picture.
3. There's an optional dress code. I've already mentioned that I dressed the part when "researching" sorority rush. One of my roommates helped to dress me, making me kick off my clogs as she searched for something on the preppy side. Clothes say a lot about a person. One day last summer I looked in the mirror and realized it had finally happened. I had become a stereotype. I was wearing a short-sleeved denim shirt and khaki shorts (did I mention the bob haircut?). Without knowing it, I had become a Kool-Aid mom! (I'm not kidding. Next time you see a commercial featuring a mother with young children, check out what she's wearing.)
This summer I attended my first statewide homeschool conference. I noticed a common thread (pun intended) there, too. I walked into the conference hall and stood amazed, awash in a sea of 4,000 denim jumpers! Okay, I'm exaggerating-some of the jumpers weren't denim. And yet, like the madras skirt and espadrilles of sorority rush, the denim jumper seemed to be the apparel of choice. And why not? It's comfortable and versatile. But I'm not the one to judge. Those who wear denim shirts and khaki shorts should not throw stones. Still, from what I understand, the dress code is optional.
After I had gone through sorority rush, I made the decision not to pledge. But researching the microcosm of homeschooling has brought me to a different conclusion. Despite the sometimes confusing jargon, the numerous subgroups, and the apparent dress code, I've decided to sign up. I've found the overwhelming majority of homeschoolers to be a compassionate, encouraging, and inspirational people. Do a bit of your own research and I think you'll find the same. And by the way, welcome to the sisterhood!
© 1998, Amy Hollingsworth
More Reading about Homeschooling,
Women's History,
Thoughts About Motherhood and Life Changes with Homeschooling
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